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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29988969">Here</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/creatureofhobbit/pseuds/creatureofhobbit'>creatureofhobbit</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>It's A Sin (TV 2021)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:20:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,152</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29988969</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/creatureofhobbit/pseuds/creatureofhobbit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Scene from the flashforward episode that Russell T Davies had wanted to write. Jill walks around places she had been with Ritchie on the Isle of Wight, saying her final goodbyes as she works herself up to seeing Valerie Tozer for the first time in thirty years.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Be The First! 2021, The 100 Multifandom Challenge</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Here</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Here was the one place Jill had never thought she would ever have set foot again; would never have done so had it not been for the admin error where a new member of staff had accidentally booked her in for an event here, not knowing her full history with the Isle of Wight. As she disembarked from the ferry, she thought of that first time Ritchie had brought her back for Christmas, how he had warned her ahead of time what his family were like but it had still jarred her a little when Ritchie’s father had questioned where she was “really from” as opposed to Woking. The day when Ritchie had broken it to his family that he was switching his course to a drama course, and his father had then shouted at her thinking she had persuaded him to do it, Jill had thought back then that that would be the last time she’d go back there. In the end it had blown over; back then Valerie Tozer had come across as the reasonable one and had calmed her husband down, and the next day everyone carried on without mentioning it – Ritchie’s parents had let the matter drop for the sake of Christmas, and the next time Jill had gone back home with Ritchie, it was as though the whole thing never happened.</p><p>Here was the B and B she and Roscoe had stayed in in 1991, which had since closed down and been turned into apartments; Jill had to admit part of her was relieved to have the excuse to stay somewhere else for this visit. It would have been too hard for her to have stayed in the same place where she and Roscoe had called Valerie Tozer day after day only to be turned away, where they would call Ash and share their frustrations at not being able to see Ritchie, where they would make tentative plans for him also to try and get to the Isle of Wight when his school term ended, depending on whether they had been able to see Ritchie by then. The place she was booked into now was one of those chain hotels, which hadn’t been open back in 1991, impersonal, just like any other of its kind; Jill found it easier that way because it allowed her to pretend, just for those moments when she was alone in her room, that this was a hotel in any other part of the country, that this was any other public engagement where she was speaking about sexual health, that she wasn’t preparing to set eyes on that woman again for the first time in thirty years.</p><p>She wonders if here was that part of the beach where Ritchie had confessed to his old schoolfriend Martin about the crush he’d had on him all those years ago. Ritchie had talked to Jill about that not long after he’d returned home from the Isle of Wight, said that as he’d heard himself going on, he’d thought something sounded familiar, and then he’d realised he was thinking of Colin, of that time he had visited and Colin had confessed his feelings for Ritchie, and Ritchie had known that if Colin had ever gone back to being himself again, he’d have been mortified once he realised what he’d done. Jill had tried to explain that she didn’t think it was quite the same, pointing out that Ritchie had never developed the same dementia symptoms Colin had, but she understood why it would have made him think about that. One time when Jill had gone to give a talk near where Colin had grown up, Eileen had met up with her and shown her around some of Colin’s favourite places from his childhood; it had made her realise how much there still had been that she had never known about Colin when they lived in the Pink Palace together, and now would never know. With Ritchie, they had had a few more years, but there were still so many things they would never get to experience together.</p><p>She didn’t want to walk along the pier, didn’t want to see the spot where she had met with Valerie, convinced that Valerie had finally relented and was willing to allow her to see Ritchie, only for Valerie to say “He died yesterday. Yesterday afternoon.” Lucy had admitted, while discussing arrangements for Jill to visit Valerie, that Ritchie had requested to see Jill, only for Valerie to make an excuse that she was busy, and for one moment Jill had considered not making the trip, not trusting herself not to slap her, then reasoning that she still had to attend her engagement, and also it would allow her the opportunity to finally make her peace with Valerie, to say the things she had been unable to say back in 1991, to hear Valerie try and explain why she had said and done what she did.</p><p>Here was where Ritchie was buried; Jill, Roscoe and Ash had not been invited to his funeral, Valerie in a final act of cruelty having sent a copy of the order of service to the Pink Palace after the service had already taken place, so that they would not be able to attend. Jill had flashed back to the scene at Peter’s funeral where his family had refused to acknowledge his partner Nicholas and been called out on it; she knew that Ash would not have been acknowledged as Ritchie’s partner and had to admit there was a part of her that would have felt tempted to call Valerie out in the same way; Roscoe, she felt sure, would have actually done it. In the end Jill, Ash and Roscoe had organised their own memorial for Ritchie, with all the friends in London who he would have wanted to be there. Eileen Morris-Jones had made the journey from Wales; the Tozers had not responded to their invitation. As Jill sees the grave for the first time, where Ritchie has now been joined by his father, sees where Lucy has been leaving fresh flowers regularly for years, she wonders whether she should have come here sooner, visited Ritchie’s grave properly, which she could have done without involving Valerie in any way; or maybe she should have ripped this BandAid off sooner, faced Valerie sooner, so the thought of seeing her again wouldn’t be looming so large in her mind now that she felt she had to walk around everywhere she and Ritchie had known on the island, from the pub where they had sung karaoke to the beach where they had stayed out until late on one visit, putting off that moment when she walked up the path to the house, to be greeted by Lucy for the first time in years, preparing to be taken to the care home to finally confront Valerie again.</p>
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